The issue of sex in marriage is one that causes problems for many married couples. In most cases, it is the husband complaining that the wife does not want to have sex often enough; however, this is not always the case. There are many couples where this is reversed, and couples going through this issue may be able to find help for their sexual problems by seeing a marriage counselor that offers sex therapy. While this can help, it is also important for women to understand the main reasons their husbands might have a lower sex drive than they have.
One reason some men have lost their interest in sex is due to health issues. Health issues can make a man tired or depressed, which are both common causes of decreased sex drives. In addition, many men suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED). ED tends to affect men as they age, and approximately 5% of 40-year old men have this. As men age, the percentage increases.
When a man has this, he might restrain from sex due to embarrassment. If he is not embarrassed about it, he might restrain simply because he may think he will not be able to accomplish it.
A second reason men lose their interest in sex is due to stress. If your husband has a lot of stress in his life, this could be the reason he is not interested in having sex with you. Stress leads to a low libido and makes a person tired. Being tired is a common reason both men and women turn down sex.
If your husband does not think highly of himself, it could play a role in his sexual drive. This can be especially true if you have encouraged him to think negatively about himself. For example, if you have ridiculed him about his sexual efforts or problems with ED, or nagged him for sex as an attempt to improve your sexual relationship, you may be causing a bigger problem than the problem you originally had.
Finding the root cause of his low sex drive can be a good first step in solving the problems you have with sex in your marriage.
If you are having problems with sex and would like professional help, contact a marriage counselor (like those at Malan Relationship Health). A marriage counselor may be able to help you understand and fix this problem in your relationship.